Listen, I just make up these facts, not the logic behind them. Good luck ever getting your frustration across with a word like munter in your repertoire, you blatant Enid Blyton character.
So when she buzzed in an answer, the voiceover would announcer her as 'Queen's University Minger' and I've never laughed so much in my entire shitty life. I can't find the footage but please can someone try harder than I have. It was gold. If you're a little fraidy cat, maybe this word will offend you and also everyday things such as fresh air, water and flavoured yoghurts.
Balls can refer to any number of things. That pervert could've rested his bills on your face for all we know. Calling someone a literal part of their anatomy is never going to be a satisfying experience. That's him told. Ken's never going to steal your wife again. Ken you're such a pancreas mate. Ken you're an ingrowing toenail.
I am sure you can sense the sincerity of my insults by my spot on anatomical selections. Although an undeniably great word, it's not particularly effective. A word that we use more or less every day is inevitably going to lose its touch over time. I've described the most innocent of experiences as bullshit, such as a stain on my shirt or the threat of nuclear war. I need something more from a swear word. More finesse, less livestock excrement. I'd like to make my feelings perfectly clear on this word: Why can't we give it one meaning.
If someone is described as being pissed, it's hard to determine whether they're drunk or annoyed, or both. We need to settle on one definition and I'd like it to be in reference to insobriety. Glad I could get that off my chest. Thank you. Shit just isn't cutting the mustard for me anymore, we can do better.
The world has gone to shit, so let's not allow our vocabulary to do the same. Better words for shit include: turd, post-food, faeces, love package, and dump. It's just a man's name FFS. Jesus Christ is not a swear word, nor should it be regarded as such. Schoolyard taunts were always retorted with: 'A bitch is a female dog, dogs bark, bark comes from trees. It was extremely extra but it distracted the bullies for long enough so you could Heely away from the situation rapidly.
You wouldn't call someone a pen female swan or a tigress female antelope jk it's a tiger. Technically all male dogs are sons of bitches and I just won't have a bad word said about a dog. This is a safe zone for dogs. Dogs are among our most popular readers here at JOE, and we are legally obligated to acknowledge that by making them feel comfortable and catered for.
Who's a good boy? You all are. Even the girl dogs too. Bollocks is just a fancier word for balls but we're still dealing with the same premise. Please see number 29 above for my feelings on the matter. Yet more anatomical cursing. In terms of housekeeping, it's nice that there's one single word to describe the head of a penis, but I think users of swear words would actually find the term 'penis head' a far more satisfactory way to refer to someone that is precisely that. Try it yourself. Call someone a penis head today!
Again, you're going to find that calling someone a boob is far more satisfactory than this allegedly vulgar term that Drake and Josh's sister coined during that wonderful television show. Tit is also a type of bird, and probably more satisfying than calling someone a chaffinch. One time I met a girl on holidays and her name was legitimately Fanny, so I struggle to take this swear word seriously.
Add to that, the fact that Americans use it to refer to an overall butt and we're in a situation where the word has lost all credibility entirely. Geographically speaking, where even is the fanny? Here are my personal understandings of the word 'snatch' - it is a movie directed by Guy Ritchie and it is the act of grabbing something aggressively. I refuse to acknowledge it as any other meaning, let alone a swear word.
I only swear when something really pisses me off. I go to the bathroom. I make coffee. I swear. I take a shower. I am a terrible nail biter. I never bite my nails. I bite them when they get too long.
I bite them when I'm nervous. I would be trying to sneak out the exit. I would be chatting with coworkers. I would be getting the dance floor grooving. I would be escorting drunk people home. I'm late a lot. I oversleep a lot. I curse a lot. I sabotage myself.
I sleep on my back. I sleep on my side. I sleep on my stomach. I toss and turn all night. I'm adventurous. I'm fun to be around. I'm brutally honest. I give great advice.
Wasn't me. I try to avoid eye contact. I try to say hello. I never say hello. I always say hello. I make phone calls. I play games on my phone. I read magazines. I avoid eye contact with others. I do sometimes. I always chat with those around me in line. Shake up conversations, expand your vocabulary and elevate your language with these 50 swear-word alternatives sure to leave you and your listeners with the giggles rather than in shock:.
A native Southern Californian, Jenna is inspired by nature and the art of ancient living through the practice of yoga and ayurveda. She believes in the power of positive thinking, the freedom of artistic expression and is a forever advocate of peace and love. For more information on massage, yoga, ayurveda and upcoming workshops, visit thelotusroomnashville.
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