A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole. A: They make good ankle warmers. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "All the blondes have gone home! A: "Next! A: Toes go in first. A: Tits teats for all the purists go in first. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer. A: An interpreter. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces herself. A2: Walks home. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door. Q: What's the first thing a blonde says after having sex? A: Oh, who were those guys? Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? A: "Thanks for the refill! Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's White-out on the screen. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common? A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you. Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A: Action of scissoring legs apart Q: What does a bleached blonde and a have in common? A: They both have a black box.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because you wash vegetables there! Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie".
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress reading her nametag?
A: "'Debbie' What did you name the other one? Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A1: Because they don't know any better. A2: They are easier to keep amused. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb? She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady! Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami! Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A wine cellar. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes? A: Peroxide. A: They're doing research on black holes. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a have in common?
A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a ? A: Not everyone has been in a Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine? A: Not everybody has been in a limo. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine? Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine? Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. Who picks it up? A1: The dumb blonde! A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blond! Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball. A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke. A4: You don't eat your bowling ball Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic". Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wriggle when you eat them. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read.
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet Fuck All Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow. A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three A3: Two Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date? A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home. Q: What's the blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex! Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From years. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits! Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts? A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor. Q: Why do blondes have legs? A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground. A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen. A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a inch Viking was a television. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? A1: The blonde! A2: The other guys waiting their turn. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "". Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"? A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? Q: How does a blonde interpret 6. A: A 69 interrupted by a period. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds! Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed? A: Because they always burn their nipples. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men! Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group? A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's? Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Neither could the blondes. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? A: A blonde electrician. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So brunettes can remember them. A3: So men can understand them. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children! Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A1: A golden retriever. A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her? Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? What do you use for bait? Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor? A: By the ears. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Proofreading. A: For throwing out the W's. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? A: She saw "" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies? A: One's a bunch a cunning runts. A: One's a busy ditch. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet? I think I'll paint the ceiling beige. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you? A: "Is it mine? Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A: Cause she blows the horn! Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off. A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No". Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? A: The Air Pump! Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!? A2: I don't know. R: Neither did she. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her. After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well!
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie.
Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. What's that? Here it is Here you go Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we could do without the gardener. Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: looking shocked Oh, you mean with one guy. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
Donut seeds! Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Tw:o. Q: How do you get rid of blondes? A: Form a circle, give each blonde a gun and tell them they are a firing squad. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! Q:: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. I could never eat twelve pieces. A: She moved. Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears? Q: What is the best thing about getting a blow job from a Spice Girl? A: 10 minutes of silence. Q: What do you do if a spice girl hurls a grenade at you? A: Take out the pin and throw it back.
A: Dunno — never seen either! Q: What is the difference between a Spice Girl and a ? A: Not everyone has been inside a A: They think they are getting their photo taken. Q: How do you know when a Spice Girl has been making chocolate chip cookies?
Q: What does a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common? Who landed first? A: The blonde — the Spice Girls had to stop and ask directions! Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw in cars. Q: What do a turtle and a spice girl have in common? Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman? A: You have to hollow out the head. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.
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