I hate it. I hate how long it takes me to let go. I hate how it prevents me from enjoying life. But I realized something. Even in these moments of writhing discomfort, I must be grateful.
Because pride is perhaps my biggest vice , and these moments of humility—raging, self-enforced against my will humility—knock the legs out from under pride. But while it does, humility shakes up the certainty that would allow pride to become insufferable self-righteousness. And for this, I must be grateful.
A trip to the symphony. Novelist, composer, choir director, hobby photographer, mom of four, and budding disability rights activist--why yes, in fact I do have my hands full. I am so with you on this! I often wonder at those people who live on it…thrive on it or at least they seem to. We have tantrums pretty sparingly at our house.
Glad you are feeling blessed about yours! Gratefulness is good. But for the part of your post that I identify all to much with I am only thankful that it reminds me to not let online relationships seep too much into real life. I read your post yesterday and thought how we were on the same wavelength, as I was already planning this one. I almost started out with a reference to yours.
I think God just keeps us in check, whether we want to be or not! I could use a little dose of gratitude myself, so thanks for the reminder! But, it is your belief, so follow through. Go after what you want and never apologize for having your own unique opinion. What you believe in and stand up for is what defines you. By Natalie Bel Hill. Mauro Grigollo. We are wired for pleasure.
We love to have a good time and enjoy ourselves. Naturally, we shy away from anything that makes us feel negative emotions and discomfort. I know I used to, as this was the easiest road, or so I thought. By actively avoiding confrontation, we feel good in the moment but ignore the future. People find themselves avoiding confrontation and conflict for the following reasons and probably many more: - Fear of rejection when standing up for yourself.
But, there is a better way, I promise: When you finally decide to pull yourself together and start speaking up for what you believe in, your fear subsides.
It's the opposite of what you usually choose to avoid at any cost. Of course, your opinions will be different from almost everyone you meet. Just consider how different opinions are formed: parents, upbringing, culture and experiences.
How could you possibly think the same way as anyone else? Discomfort can be a sign of cognitive dissonance, meaning that we gain information that messes with our structure of meaning and creates tension within us. This tension might not feel great, but it is often the sign of an expanding heart and mind. If we are willing to feel uncomfortable, even just a little, we get to practice new and better skills of listening and speaking.
We get to learn and stretch. Boundaries are still important. But it can be hard to know where the boundaries should be. Sometimes the act of talking about tough things just gets us physically worked up, and it feels like unsafety. Talking about this particular issue always causes nasty run-ins. However, in this case, I am aware enough to understand that this is not my coworker I am speaking with; this is a totally different person and a different situation. The sense of agitation I feel is real , but is it something I need to act on?
Do I need to set a boundary to protect myself, or can I sit with this? There are two reasons for feeling unsafe during a difficult conversation: we feel unsafe and are NOT safe, or we feel unsafe but actually ARE safe. Each of us has a self-protection system that gives us important information about our surroundings.
Like in the example above, where a coworker was bullying me, I feel afraid and worked up any time that particular topic of conversation arises. The rule of thumb is not what anyone else is doing, but how in-control of ourselves we feel:. Sometimes, we ARE safe , but our self-protection system starts to misfire.
We feel that prickly feeling of getting worked up. There are times when we feel an urge to throw our fists up or run away, especially if we have experienced trauma in the past.
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